Alysia Hush

 Alysia is from San Antonio (aka the "not Austin" part), Texas.  She made her stage debut at Broadway comedy club and has been a regular on the New York stand-up scene.  She contributes regularly to a dating and sex blog, Always Kiss and Say, and writes jokes for an artisinal gift card company.  In her personal life, she owns two fish, Mary and Laura.  Laura's a real asshole.